Something that I have learned to embrace about myself is the blessing of inconsistent gifts. God gives us talents, abilities, and gifts that are from His Spirit to use to build up His kingdom and glorify Him. Some are hands and feet, others are eyes and ears. All have a part and non are worth more than the others. 1 Cor 12 talks specifically about spiritual gifts:
14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.16And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
If I were to extend this wisdom to talents and abilities (which I think isn’t too far a stretch) and directly apply it to talents, we see that all the talents, plumbing, public speaking, music, banking, and everything in between are serving are present to build up Gods body. Specifically with singing, obviously some are better musicians/singers than others and God ordains it so!
The frustration with this is that, while I think I can carry a tune and have an ability to sing, I am constantly reminded by God that there pretty serious limitations to my abilities and that there are people with incredible singing and musical abilities that can FAR out perform my own! It can be intimidating and even even becomes a source of envy when I see people with talents like this and allow myself compare my gifting to them and I covet their abilities.
There are times when I am confronted by others with songs that they want me to sing which are simply outside of my ability to do. I can see disappointment on their faces when I tell them I can’t do it. The truth is that my voice cracks, I forget words pretty consistently, I mess up chords, I lose my voice all the time, I can’t play the guitar parts like David Crowder, or sing in the octave range of Chris-freakin-Tomlin.
There are times though that I not only find contentment in it but I embrace these inconsistencies because they really do force my reliance on God to make up for my lack! My anxiety of what people think has constantly tempted me to give up music! God has found a way to not allow me to do that and I find myself on stage thinking, “what the heck am I doing? What makes me think that I can pull this off?!” I ask God to give me better abilities but the words of Paul ring in my ears like a bullhorn, “…but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
The beauty of it all is that God has allowed me to lead in place I never thought I would find myself and use me – even with my inconsistent talent…even as I (and others) doubted that he could/would. God truly uses the weak to lead the strong.